Calculate the Lovering Inheritance

2 files changed, 68 insertions, 2 deletions

diff --git a/ansible/roles/munin/defaults/main.yml b/ansible/roles/munin/defaults/main.yml
deleted file mode 100644
index 8fbc7dc..0000000
--- a/ansible/roles/munin/defaults/main.yml
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,2 +0,0 @@
----
-munin_node_custom_plugins: {}
diff --git a/ansible/roles/munin/vars/main.yml b/ansible/roles/munin/vars/main.yml
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..dedfb46
--- /dev/null
+++ b/ansible/roles/munin/vars/main.yml
@@ -0,0 +1,68 @@
+---
+munin_node_custom_plugins:
+  lovering_inheritance: |
+    #!/usr/bin/env python3
+    # Ansible managed
+
+    import datetime
+    import random
+    import sys
+
+    if sys.argv[-1] == "autoconf":
+        print("no")
+        sys.exit(0)
+
+    if sys.argv[-1] == "config":
+
+        print("""\
+    graph_title Lovering Inheritance
+    graph_args --base 1000 -l 0
+    graph_vlabel £
+    graph_category people
+    graph_info This graph shows the insurance that Chris can cash out.
+    graph_total Total
+    savings.label Savings
+    savings.info Base inheritance money Chris paid into his account in 2024
+    savings.draw AREASTACK
+    interest.label Interest
+    interest.info Amount of money gained from interest on the base amount
+    interest.draw AREASTACK
+    inherited.label Inherited money
+    inherited.info Amount inherited from deaths of friends, family and victims
+    inherited.draw AREASTACK\
+        """)
+        sys.exit(0)
+
+    # Fixed seed to ensure that the bank jitter is constant
+    random.seed(1234)
+    today = datetime.date.today()
+    savings = 740
+    interest_per_day = 0.01
+    insurance_policy_start = datetime.date(2024, 8, 28)
+    days_griefed = (today - insurance_policy_start).days
+    accrued_interest = 0
+    for _ in range(days_griefed):
+        bank_jitter = random.random()
+        accrued_interest += bank_jitter * (interest_per_day * (savings + accrued_interest))
+
+    inherited_money = 0
+
+    if days_griefed > 10:
+        # Hassan declared as KIA (he had stocks in Big Oil)
+        inherited_money += 10000
+
+    if days_griefed > 60:
+        # Death of Joe (prospect of sale of stolen GPUs)
+        inherited_money += 5000
+
+    if days_griefed > 170:
+        # Bella disappears (spent all on chicken and gifts for his wife)
+        inherited_money += 300
+
+    if days_griefed > 360:
+        # Lola Banks deploys her Titan missile but burns herself to death
+        inherited_money += 12000
+
+    print(f"savings.value {savings}")
+    print(f"interest.value {accrued_interest}")
+    print(f"inheritance.value {inherited_money}")